Taking Care of Yourself as a Doula: Lessons from My Own Journey

Michelle Morgan-Smith

Hey there, new doula!

I imagine you’re feeling all kinds of emotions right now—excitement, eagerness, and maybe even a little nervousness as you step into this beautiful, life-changing work. Supporting families through birth is an incredible privilege, but here’s something really important to keep in mind: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I’ve been where you are. In the last seven years, I’ve supported over 160 births, and in my early days, I threw myself into the work without thinking about my own well-being. Like so many new doulas, I put my clients first—sometimes at the expense of my own health, sleep, and energy. And you know what? It caught up with me. I learned the hard way that if you’re running on empty, you can’t be the strong, steady, and nurturing presence your clients need.

I don’t want you to reach that point, so I’m sharing some key lessons I’ve learned—practical ways to care for yourself while still showing up fully for the families you support.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to trust the natural flow of birth. It’s easy to feel like you need to be there immediately when a client calls, but early labour can last for hours (or even days). If I arrive too early, I provide initial support, get the birthing person and their partner settled, and then step away to rest. This way, when active labour kicks in, I’m fresh, focused, and fully available.

Being on call 24/7 can make it feel like sleep isn’t an option—but it has to be. If you know a birth is approaching, grab naps when you can, go to bed early, and don’t be afraid to tag-team with a doula partner when possible. Birth is a marathon, not a sprint, and you need to pace yourself.

It’s also important to be intentional with your schedule. When you’re just starting out, it’s tempting to say yes to every inquiry that comes your way, but trust that the work will come. Instead of overbooking yourself, think about what’s realistic for you. Whether it’s one birth a month or five, find a balance that allows you to give each client (and yourself!) the care and attention they deserve.

Packing wisely is another simple but essential way to set yourself up for success. You don’t need a massive doula bag, but bringing the right essentials—like a toothbrush, deodorant, face wash, and plenty of snacks and water—can make all the difference. A well-prepared doula is a more resilient, present doula.

During births, don’t forget to take small breaks. It’s easy to get caught up in the intensity of the moment, but stepping outside for fresh air, finding a quiet moment to breathe, or grabbing a quick snack can help keep you grounded and energised. These little moments allow you to show up for your client with a clear, calm presence.

And perhaps most importantly, self-care isn’t selfish. You’ve chosen a heart-led, deeply giving path. But if you don’t care for yourself, you won’t be able to care for others long-term. Taking time to rest and recharge isn’t stepping away from your work—it’s ensuring you can keep doing it in a way that’s sustainable and fulfilling. When you take care of yourself, you’re also modeling balance and well-being for the families you serve.

From the start, setting clear boundaries is essential. Having open, honest conversations with your clients about your availability and needs doesn’t make you less dedicated—it actually ensures that you can be fully present when it matters most. I always let my clients know that if I’ve been awake for 24 hours and birth isn’t imminent, I may step away for a short rest. And you know what? They appreciate it. Knowing that I’m looking after myself means they don’t have to worry and reassures them that I’ll be at my best when they need me most.

I had to learn these lessons the hard way. I pushed myself to the brink of burnout and even questioned whether I could continue as a doula. But when I made a conscious decision to nurture my own well-being, everything changed—I became a stronger, more present support for my clients, and I fell even more in love with this work.

So, as you embark on this incredible journey, please remember: You matter just as much as the families you support. By taking small, intentional steps to care for yourself, you’ll not only provide better support—you’ll also create a career that is joyful, sustainable, and deeply rewarding.

Thinking of you and all the families you’ll be guiding with love and wisdom.

Michelle x